Shopping in Toronto

There are all sorts of weird and wonderful things for sale in Toronto.

For up to zero percent off, you can get…

A disembodied ass.

And imprisoned French maid.

A one way ticket to dehydration!

A mysteriously vague product termed “Feminine Paper” (not to be confused with “Household Paper”)

A vintage bra/shoulder pad combo (how have I lived all this time without this product?)

And some quality beer in the Cabernet aisle.

Okay, let me explain my train of thought while taking a photo of this bottle of Schlitz, the most unfortunately named beer in history. When I was a kid, my parents would often reminisce about defunct beer brands, most notably PBR (which has since had a very annoying hipster renaissance), Rheingold and Schlitz. My father would talk about working the beer pavilion at the 1964 New York World’s Fair and my mother would then sing the Rheingold song:

In my head, these stories have also become conflated with the Miss Subway beauty contests, for reasons I can’t quite figure out. Maybe because I have put all the Forgotten New York nostalgia into one special place in my mind, or maybe because ballots used to be available at stores that sold Schlitz… it remains a mystery.