So, what did World’s Biggest Most Mediocre Bookstore have for me today? I was looking for a book on workouts you can do at home with no equipment. Sadly, the gender binary of the fitness section put me off. How ridiculous I was being, thinking that basic human physiology would allow men and women to partake of the same workout regimen. I just couldn’t bear the thought of buying either of these:

So I gave up and took photos instead. The fitness section was full of workouts for macho men and anorexic women, as well as general medical quackery:

And books stating the obvious:

Here, I am going to write my own definitive text on walking. Ready?
1. Buy comfortable shoes
2. Go outside/Get on treadmill
3. Walk at whatever speed you like for whatever distance is comfortable
4. The next time you go for a walk, try to increase your speed and/or distance
5. Dog companion optional

Done. I’m brilliant. Somebody give me a publishing deal.

There was also this:

Which is all well and good, it’s just sad that instead of digging up some lesser known books or using the display to link the King James to related events or topics, the World’s Biggest Most Mediocre Bookstore instead chooses to highlight books about insipid conspiracy theories and general nonsense. “The King James Only Controversy”? Really? Is that what counts for a controversy these days?

I will admit it wasn’t all bad at the store that day. They did have this nice, if not very exciting, display:

I came *very* close to buying a copy of Deliverance, which I have been meaning to read, but stopped myself. I knew I would feel dirty for the rest of the day if I bought a banned book from a store responsible for the downfall of the independent publishing industry.

Especially after I noticed this display sitting right nearby:

And yes, before I rage some more, I did check to see if I could find a matching “Girls With Brains” section. I couldn’t, however please feel free to correct me if I’m wrong. But anyway, it was hard to be too upset by a display as idiotic as this one. First of all, I think Francis Fukuyama would plotz if he found out, after all his hard work in the academy, he was one spot removed from Jay-Z. Furthermore, it wasn’t really clear what “Boys” referred to – sometimes it seemed to be referring to the author, like Fukuyama or Jay-Z, sometimes to the subject of the book, as in Einstein or Isaac Newton (referring to Newton as a “boy” is just awkward), and sometimes it referred to a woman, as in the author of Your Creative Brain, Shelley Carson.

I couldn’t help but think that some of these books would have been better served by different displays. “Boys With Brains” seems to be a key phrase meaning “Fun With Popular Science.” Dan Ariely is awesome, but how would the mere fact that he is a man (rather, a “boy”) convince a shopper that they should own his book? Fully half the population of the world is male, that’s not a very unique selling point.

I took my place in one of the seats at the back of the streetcar, and what to my wondering eyes should appear on the seat beside me but a surgical mask? Wait, before you say, Ewwwww, don’t touch that!, let me explain. It wasn’t just some discarded surgical mask from a passenger who showed up 8 years late to the SARS-phobia trend of 2003. This mask had a little note attached.

Clearly it had been been deliberately left on the streetcar. I took a closer look at the note.

Ooooh! A game! Or possibly some public art. I do love public art. I find a lot of it on the streetcar, actually. Not just the regular Sharpie graffiti, either. Streetcars make very popular galleries to budding artists, I find. I held the mask in my hand and turned over the note. Lo and behold, on the back I found a website.

I was so happy that I had taken the streetcar and was thus above ground with cell reception. I checked out this Masked Crusaders site and found a series of photos of people wearing these masks, each decorated in some way to express the subject’s answer to the question on the note. They even have an option to submit the photo using an email address they have set up to ensure anonymity. Kinda like a Post Secret sort of thing, but challenging people to expose their own impression of themselves through the mask.

In short: it IS a game! Yay! If there’s one thing I like even more than public art, it’s interactive public art. Good times!

I’m going to keep my eyes peeled for more of these masks.

There are the tags:

And then there are the wild beasts!

Uh oh!

Help us, Xena!

As Michelle said, the windows of nearly every store displayed electronic goods. Which was especially interesting in the windows of the Slavic Bazaar, which in words boasted “Delicious varieties of delicacies,” but whose window displays bore megaphones, transistor radios, miniature televisions, and painted styrofoam cutouts of words like “radar.” It was a bizarre bazaar.

I found myself amused by numerous spelling errors, because that’s what I do in life.

But my favourite part of Little Malta had to be it’s tiniest Ambassador.

This little fella spent a good 20 minutes welcoming me to the area and giving me the lowdown on the goings on in Little Malta. My tour wouldn’t have been complete without his hospitality.

When we walked far enough West (North? Who can keep track of Dundas’ shifting direction?) on Dundas, past the sight of our last gentrification photo project in the Junction, we reached a Maltese neighborhood. Who knew there was such a magical place? There was even a Maltese bakery promising something called Pastizzi. I thought that sounded promising, as anything that sounds like a combination of pasta and pizza would, but it was closed. Curses! I looked it up when we got home and pastizzi are ricotta-filled pastries. I MISSED OUT ON A NEW FORM OF DOUGH STUFFED WITH CHEESE. Goddammit. Well, reason enough to go back… unless the hipsters move in and it goes out of business first.

Anyway, walking back from the sadly closed pastizzeria (I have learned a new word, courtesy of Wikipedia) we passed a whackload of neat looking stores. It would seem that it is a hobby of THE ENTIRE Junction to collect old electronic and mechanical equipment. Almost every window, no matter what the content of the store, is filled with at least one old typewriter, transistor radio or product from brands like Electrolux or Westinghouse or RCA. Why? I don’t know. Maybe this is how the people of the Junction dealt with being denied alcohol for so many decades. But moving on, if there are two people in this world who appreciate the beauty of a broken radio from 1965, it is Stark and me.

So, a photo tour: Welcome to Toronto’s Little Malta

I was obsessed with this barber shop:

Why? Because of the window decorations (old records instead of electronics – very original for the neighborhood)

And because of the astronauts on the wall:

One of the old electronics stores came with a friendly cat friend +15!

This church gets a -20 for an incorrect use of quotation marks.

This electronics store earns back my favor with the old school font:

More of the random displays of antique equipment:

I think this one was an accountant or something. They had an old ThinkPad hooked up to wish people season’s greetings. I had one of those once, but a combination of my stupid roommate and Lufthansa broke it. It was a good computer though… except for Windows 98 and the blue screen of death. Memorieeeessssss….

This place was more avant garde in their approach to window decoration. Letters spelling RADAR, a bullhorn on a special shelf and a painting of Santa. What does it all mean?

I love that this place’s idea of advertising their baked goods was styrofoam in the vague shape of cake with sharpie labels (HAPPY BABY). And then the sample “wedding cake” was a stack of dusty old styrofoam:

This bookstore was slightly more enticing. It just dumped some random shit in the window, all piled on top of each other and faded from the sun. Titles include: “Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain,” “How to Care for Your Older Dog,” “The Idiot’s Guide to Crystals,” and “The Hawaiian Diet” (Whatever that might be… lots of pineapples and Kona coffee? I could live with that)

Continued in Part II!

Some of their theories are more…controversial than others.

And sometimes they express more personal entreaties.

And sometimes they simply furrow their brows and engage your sense of disgrace.

Let the finger-wagging commence!

Doggies walking through the parkette at Yonge and Gloucester can drink merrily in memory of Barney.

There are plenty of unofficial dog pee stations throughout the city, but the one at Church and Alexander is the first I have seen with a dedicated sign.

Parks throughout the city offer fenced off-leash areas for the pups to run around and frolic. High Park’s off-leash area is by far the most expansive, including not only an open dog park with running water, but some fenced trails as well.

Oh, and it even has its own fire hydrant!

Toronto doggies are well looked after.

Morning show host Chris was clad in purple from head to toe. Even his backpack matched the ensemble!

Weekend host and promotions guru Neil went for the more subtle colour pop with a snazzy purple tie.

Overnight personality and programming manager Amanda busted out the argyle.

Evening host Sean also rocked the purple argyle. Pretty pretty.

Afternoon show co-host Acey showed up all decked out in…black and white. Acey always wears black and white. Occasionally blue. Her interpretation of Spirit Day was either really lazy, or really creative.

Of course, tackling bullying and homophobia takes more than just wearing purple. Here are a few resources on how to take on bullying and homophobia:

Bullying Canada
End Bullying Today
Kids Help Phone 1 800 668-6868
Canadian AIDS Society report on Homophobia and Heterosexism in Canada (.pdf)
The 519 Community Centre (Toronto)
PFLAG Canada
Human Rights Watch – LGBT Rights
EGALE Canada
Without Prejudice: Resources for Change
International Day Against Homophobia site (Great Canada-wide local resources on their links page!)
Toronto District School Board resources

Floating windows…

It was great to see the show. I find it a bit boring on TV, but in real life, it was fun. I certainly never thought I would get to see Ekaterina Gordeeva, Kurt Browning, and Jamie Sale skate ever, never mind from front row seats. Lots of skating celebrities were there and it was low key enough that you could even talk to them. And on the second night, Johnny Weir did an exhibition skate to Lady Gaga. We were sitting right by the backstage area, so we could watch him warm up. It was great. And, as always, I love the sound and light show:

To bigger…

And even bigger…

Finally approaching something similar to an alien abduction or a nuclear detonation…